good night Master Cleanser

Dear Reader,
i hope you will not think me a failure. It came time to give in and have some solid sustenance. Day 5 was going pretty well, even at work. When i ran out of lemonade around 4:45 i was still feeling good. By the time i got home from work around 5:30 i was weak and MOODY. The hunger pangs were overwhelming and i cried and cried. Not because of the hunger necessarily, but the thought of not eating solid food for another 5 days was extremely depressing. After having a few glasses of the juice, things were back to normal and i was happy again. Talk about mood swings.

It should be noted that these mood swings were due, in part, to PMS. That ugly dragon most females are host to at least once in a while. When i went to bed that night, after having our mint and laxative teas, i did not sleep well, due to a nasty mix of menstrual and abdominal cramps. Needless to say (especially if you are a woman and know what i am talking about), when the sun came up i was not a happy camper. More mood swings and i almost, really wanted to, throw my glass of luke warm sea salt water in the street and watch it shatter.

Struggling with the idea of failure and crying about it for a good hour, i finally got up the nerve to go to the health food store and buy some orange juice, a banana and a vegan fruit and nut bar. That was the best tasting stuff i have ever put in my mouth. i ate small bits, slowly and got full fast. The digestion process took all my energy, i assume, as i am not a medical professional and i had a head ache. It was hard to tell if i was feeling bad because of menstruation or digestion.

After work John, the saint (because he dealt well with the mood swings he has now reached sainthood) and i went to the grocery store and bought lots of food. We made guacamole, which i had been craving for days, and fresh berries with coconut milk and chocolate syrup. i went to sleep very very happy and feel very very happy this morning, as i drink my coffee with almond milk. Yes, we are back on caffeine too.

i am not considering this failure. Five days is a long time to go without eating solid food for a foodie. Maybe fasting is not for everyone. John felt fantastic yesterday and would have kept fasting and gone jogging yesterday morning, had he not been talking me down from the proverbial ledge. Of course he is no stranger to fasting and he doesn't get to experience the monthly miracle. Cleansing obviously affects everyone differently. Maybe the negative emotions were the toxins swirling around inside me, seeping into my brain.

In short i am glad i tried the cleanse and plan to try for the full ten days at some point in the future. Today, however, it's time to EAT!

Thank you for reading and good luck with your cleansing endeavors.